Taste

All cold and worried, I remember
Your soft cheeks, your voice,
All in the warm sweetness that slowly
Starts to seep out of my mind..

I knew it from the beginning,
But why does this still hurt?
A hard candy will surely melt away,
The more you try to taste it.

I didn’t think it was possible,
To love despite the bitterness?
I’ll never understand,
Because it’ll never be me.

If there’s no tomorrow for us,
I’ll be able to continue living
In a web of lies, without ever knowing
The taste that I really need.

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She smelled good, didn’t she?

A gentle knock, a soft reminder
Just enough to recapture your heart
When her fading footsteps back then,
Were her only answer
For your near-sighted heart..

It would remain forever incomplete
But isn’t that what love really is?
Amidst everything that used to be
The calmest of seas, just before a storm was born
And drifted the two of you apart?

It was never your fault or hers
Perfection should always stay in delusion
To continue confining yourself in those thoughts
Even the world would never accept
For you to slowly die in monotony.

Now that I have your attention;
I’ve never really wanted an unbreakable love.
Why would I ask for anything other than
Those anxieties that drove my pulse faster?
Maybe she was the same.

.

I know exactly how it feels
To be alone, when I’m not completely alone
And I know I’ve always been good at
Deceiving others into thinking I’m completely fine.
Sometimes I don’t even have to try —
After all, they don’t bother finding out the truth.
And clearly when you’re all alone
You could only hear your own thoughts speaking
I’d made up so many unreal conversations in my head
To the point where, at any time, I could trick myself into thinking
All the wrongs in the past, all the hearts that I’ve broken
And the fact that I’ll always be stuck in this cycle
Of falling apart. Unable to go back to what’s real.
Worst of all, I could always reason with myself
That I’m better off alone.
That I’m better off not making anyone else suffer.
I could keep going on and on, talking while listing
The reasons why I can never escape, as long as I’m breathing —
And nobody would reply.

Summer

Drowning, I’m cursing at the sky again
I can’t hear your embrace from all these waves
I’ve hit my head along the jagged rocks
And praying that you’d pick me up again.

I’ve crashed so many times before,
And I’m perfectly sober now but why does that
Your pitiful words on my screen
Only spells out the things that I don’t want to hear?

It’s always been like this —
You called me out, and I’ll come to you
Like flocks of birds seeking warmth
The summer that forever belongs in your name.

That’s how I feel whenever I’m with you;
Summertime that I deserve, strolling through
Soft sands under the cloudless skies
Reaching out to God and singing our gratitude

No matter how far I’ve drifted away
This sea is dying. And I believe that
My tears will stop, along with the current
Just like the summer that disappears with you.

Letters

It’s not everyday you’d read love letters of a past lover of your partner.

“I’m throwing them away.”

I didn’t even think twice — I held back his hand, pleading for those letters.

“That’s odd”, he chuckled, “of course you can read them, it’s just unusual you’d want to keep them.”

It was the handwriting of a young girl desperate for love. It was small with meticulous curves — she mentioned your name a lot.

Her daytime dreams poured into words; those were the only thing she could depend on to bring you back.

She’d reminisced about the past, when you two were still together, before she wrote those letters that were simply the results of a broken heart, still unwilling to accept your farewell.

This girl who loved you, whom I’ve never even met, taught me a lesson that day.

And every time I read those letters, I’m reminded of a girl who I’d never want to be.

untitled fairy tale

I want to be fascinated
And cherished as the flowers bloom
Into feelings I have yet felt
A start to an endless story
An end to all distress.

I wanted to be fascinated
And taken away from this sugarless,
Colorless thought from the past
But what have you become, my prince
Drowned in the sea’s embrace.

I have come to realize, this chase
Of your warmth and the collision of your kiss
Is a mockery to my inferiority
I refuse to take it, I try to shout
The magic words, to no avail.

Do I really need this miracle?
My limbs weakened, trying to save
My only hope, my only wish
I dare to stop, for all its worth
Yet I can already see myself disappearing.

Hiding in a foam of bubbles,
An imperfect getaway, but I digress
Even if it was all just a lie
My dream of seeing you again
Has already come true…